# Need help with future



## danielb (Feb 6, 2014)

Hi hoping for some help,

Im a English lad came to Australia 2 years ago, 
My life has taken a dramatic change. Australia has lost it's attraction and I don't know what to do, I moved here with my ex girlfreind and her family, they are all I had here apart from some fairly close freinds I've met along the way. Me and my ex had a very messy breakup and I moved away with an English freind to try and sort myself out. Now my English freind is going home In May the work contract I have ends in May I'm in Townsville and do not no anyone. I have no commitments at all when the job ends and my friend leaves it's just me my clothes and my ute I could go back to the Gold Coast with the limited freinds I have there and try and get on with it. Or I could go home, but if I can wait 1 more year in Australia my permenant residence will be granted .i really want to go home it doesn't seem like there's much here for me I have no family and limited freinds who aren't always going to be around. I can get work because I have skills but I just feel I won't make it through a year of my own company. I'm not the most social person, and have lived with 5 sisters all my younger life and lived with my girlfriend for 6 years, so it's odd not always having family around. I could go home to my family and friends. But I'm so scared I'm making a bad choice, has anyone experienced living abroad alone and does a new life form itself. ? ?


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## Philip (Jan 2, 2011)

People build new lives for themselves all the time.

I don't want to say you should do "this" or do "that" as it really depends how unhappy you are without close family/friends around you. It also depends on whether you like living in Australia enough to want to stay the year in order to get permanent residency.

I do think that social skills can be developed, I'm sure you could build many more friendships over here if you work on it. I also found regular Skype video chats help me feel a better sense of connection with my family back in the UK.

I also can't help wondering if you are experiencing depression or anxiety? Maybe speak to a doctor?

Anyway, good luck with whatever you decide.


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## danielb (Feb 6, 2014)

Thanks for the advice Phillip,

I understand that it is possible to start a new life,
However there are an even amount of pros and cons for me to go and stay, I have suffered a loss that was quite sudden, I did have a very comfortable happy loving life of fun and stability.
I still haven't quite let go of all of that because I just don't know where to start in May, it's a feeling of not knowing where to go or what to do yes I know the basics find a home find a job, I just cant imagine being happy on my own. Maybe depression could be a factor I'm not sure but I'm reluctant to accept that i could be depressed, I do love Australia without a doubt and my lifestyle is definatley Better here but there's nothing like family and freinds, you take them for granted until you find yourself alone. I guess I should just wait till May and go with my instinct. I just can't help but want to get it done and go or stay and be happy with the situation I'm in however that is proving extremely difficult. I have found myself on a self destructive path my money management has deteriorated to the point where I'm spending all my wages in one night, my alcohol consumption is more than ever, and my freind is clearly struggling with my, lack of responsibility and me constantly being down. I just feel like I'm letting myself slip and maybe my family are the support I need to stop me going down that path. NOT THE BEST FORUM FOR LIFE PROBLEMS. But all the advice is greatly appreciated.


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## Philip (Jan 2, 2011)

danielb said:


> I'm reluctant to accept that i could be depressed...
> 
> (then)
> 
> ...


Daniel, I highly recommend you speak to a doctor - just a regular GP is fine. Do not let this escalate.

I went through a similar pattern (apart from the money) after I split with my wife, and it is no joke. Do NOT take what you are going through now lightly.

If you are anything like me, you do not feel like talking to a doctor - I know I didn't. But if I hadn't, I'd likely not be here talking with you online.

I repeat bro, DO NOT take this shit lightly. You can turn it around, but you NEED to speak to a GP. Good luck and take care.


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## danielb (Feb 6, 2014)

Was just informed by my immigration lawyer that my ex partner has requested that the visa be cancelled so that has made my life much easier, thanks for advice, this seems to have made me feel better as now I do not have to make the descision, biggest desicion I would have ever made.


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## Ratbag Oz (Sep 21, 2008)

Have you considered moving within Australia? out here in the rural regions it's much quieter and easier to get to know people that are around you, I come from stations and there you work closely with just a few people and live in a more isolated situation, it would all depend on what kind of work you are into, but Australia is so big, moving location might be like a holiday away from it for you.


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