# The Australian Table Wines sketch From Monty Python



## mike

A lot of people in this country pooh-pooh Australian table wines. This is a
pity, as many fine Australian wines appeal not only to the Australian palette,
but also to the cognoscenti of Great Britain.

"Black Stump Bordeaux" is rightly praised as a peppermint flavoured
Burgundy, whilst a good "Sydney Syrup" can rank with any of the world's
best sugary wines.

"Chateau Bleu", too, has won many prizes; not least for its taste, and
its lingering afterburn.

"Old Smokey, 1968" has been compared favourably to a Welsh claret,
whilst the Australian wino society thouroughly recommends a 1970 "Coq du
Rod Laver", which, believe me, has a kick on it like a mule: 8 bottles
of this, and you're really finished -- at the opening of the Sydney
Bridge Club, they were fishing them out of the main sewers every half an
hour.

Of the sparkling wines, the most famous is "Perth Pink". This is a
bottle with a message in, and the message is BEWARE!. This is not a
wine for drinking -- this is a wine for laying down and avoiding.

Another good fighting wine is "Melbourne Old-and-Yellow", which is
particularly heavy, and should be used only for hand-to-hand combat.

Quite the reverse is true of "Chateau Chunder", which is an Appelachian
controle, specially grown for those keen on regurgitation -- a fine wine
which really opens up the sluices at both ends.

Real emetic fans will also go for a "Hobart Muddy", and a prize winning
"Cuiver Reserve Chateau Bottled Nuit San Wagga Wagga", which has a
bouquet like an aborigine's armpit.
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## Wanderer

Quite a few you've mentioned ther Mike I've never heard of but that ain't too startling given the number of different vineyards about these days.

We better let the PC police overlook the wafting from Wagga and I'll try to remember not to do a bouquet test if I come across it.

One of the best [smpoothest] [and everything a red should be] reds I've ever had was from a Robertson Vineyard [you've made me do some work on locating the 'culprits' - bit of a mystery and another story] found in all places, a little Vintner in Switzerland about 12 years ago.

And then though not that I remembered it at the time to be over the top, it was still not too bad, a good drop was had at one of few[I expect if not sole vineyard on NSW south coast], and that being Tilba Valley - beautiful little place and having a trip down to Vic in late May, I might just have to check it out again, been nearly 15 years and vines should have developed a bit now.

For sweetness, another rare find I had one time was a Hamiltons Blackberry Wine being sold at roadside in McClaren Vale and it was even better than a good port, bought the last six bottles they had [about 35 years ago] and could never get it again - didn't stop me trying to produce my own once though, a very explosive experience that, but kind of drinkable and may still even have a bottle somewhere.

And then not too long back, we had some bloody awful stuff that had bouquet of paint thinners, called Gecko something or other - might as well added Piss, but what they did have that was superb [from somewhere else probably] was some honey mead - great smooth rich liquer type drink.

I put some sleepers away in my shed down at BB a few years ago and time is right to bring them out of their coma too.

Let me know when you're back DU and we'll have to share a few bottles of this or that.


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