# 309/100 partner visa questions on date we committed to each other



## tony.is.softdev (Aug 24, 2018)

I'm applying the online application for visa 309/100 for my wife. I have some questions for step 18. It says "Date applicant and sponsor committed to a shared life together to the exclusion of all others". And this is the guideline "Enter the date that the sponsor and the applicant considered they committed to a relationship to the exclusion of all others.​". What day should we fill in?

1) Our engagement day?
2) The day we received our Marriage Certificate from our local city's authorities?
3) Our wedding day?

Another question is "Has the applicant lived separately and apart from the sponsor for any periods of time since committing to a shared life together to the exclusion of all others?". If I fill in either #1 or #2 above, should I select "Yes" and give details like "We spent time to discuss with our parents on how to prepare for our wedding."?


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## ampk (Sep 21, 2013)

If it is a multiple choice question - then 1 would be most correct, but it could be a date well before that.

How long did the discussions with the parents take?


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## gingersnap (Aug 25, 2018)

Way earlier than what you're mentioning! It can be as early as the date you started dating exclusively! When you decided that you were going to share your lives, and not simply casually 'date'. Moving in together is an easy example, but it can be earlier than this if other factors prevented you from moving in together at the time when you would otherwise have done so.

Note the wording. "date that the sponsor and the applicant *considered* they committed to a relationship to the exclusion of all others" It's a subjective question. It's not looking for an official/public/permanent commitment such as a wedding, that has a date that is easy to prove. (Although moving in together is a good time to pick since you will have evidence of that change of address, such as the first payslip received at the new place.) It didn't have to have been an official, lifelong commitment _at that very moment_, but you _have_ been sharing your lives to the (romantic) exclusion of all others since then.

Think about it this way. The same question is asked of couples applying on the basis of a 'de facto' relationship, which means they have never been married, and there is no requirement for them to be engaged either. They just have to have committed to being a couple. So my partner and I will be putting from when we agreed that we were both serious about our relationship, because we knew from that time that we would be making arrangements to live together, even though it would take time to achieve that due to lives based on opposite sides of the planet.


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## sfernando (Apr 16, 2018)

The day you started your relationship with your wife as girlfriend & boy friend or as partners which is way before wedding day


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## Mania (Sep 7, 2016)

Girlfriend boyfriend and dating are all terms that aren't ideal and will potentially cause you issues...

The date is when you committed to a shared life with each other at the exclusion of all others.

Time spent dating does not count.


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## tony.is.softdev (Aug 24, 2018)

Thank you guys for your response. Due to my busy job schedule in the last month, I do apologise for my late reply.



ampk said:


> If it is a multiple choice question - then 1 would be most correct, but it could be a date well before that.
> 
> How long did the discussions with the parents take?


Not much long actually. We only decided that we would be getting married, and our parents took care of organising all the ceremonies and choosing restaurants. We only went with them to sign the paperworks. It's hard for me to explain but that is part of Vietnamese traditional culture (parents take care of their children's matters, even marriage). The only things that we prepared by ourselves were to book pre-wedding photoshoot service, which did pre-wedding photoshoot for us and lent us wedding clothes.



Mania said:


> Girlfriend boyfriend and dating are all terms that aren't ideal and will potentially cause you issues...
> 
> The date is when you committed to a shared life with each other at the exclusion of all others.
> 
> Time spent dating does not count.


Thanks gingersnap for your opinion but I have to agree with Mania on this. Using the date we started dating could make things hard for us to explain for ourselves. Not to mention that if the case officer that is assigned to assess our application is a Vietnamese staff in Australian Consulate-General in HCMC and is traditionally-oriented, that may cause us trouble. Although Vietnam has been a bit more Westernised in recent decades, it's still for most part Confucianly conservative. Even moving in together without getting married or having a "de facto" relationship could be considered contemptible and looked down on.

I've been thinking of putting our engagement day because that was when we officially announced to our friends, families and relatives that we were going to be married. But that means we will need to list out what we did (mostly prepared for our wedding) between that time and our wedding day.

One thing I'm concerned is if we choose that option, do we have to submit the receipts of the restaurants which our parents and us booked for our wedding parties? Do we need to submit the receipt of the pre-wedding photoshoot service that we booked? And if so, do we have to get them all translated into English before submitting them (since they're all Vietnamese)?


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