# Partner has withdrawn his application..



## kayla32 (Jan 23, 2015)

Hey everyone,
I did not know where to seek help as I cannot afford a migration agent at this point so I thought I will post here,maybe someone has been in this situation although I hope not as I do not wish it upon anyone..

Anyway, my partner and I only recently applied for a de facto ( october 2014 ) after being together for over 2 years and in November I took on some volunteer work 5 hrs away from where we lived,he was fine with it and I planned to come back before christmas.
After one week he said I am not welcome back in our house or his life because I "left" him.He deleted me off all social media and phone..
Ofcourse I went back to try to sort things out,but we havent..He left me all alone for christmas and new years,I was balling my eyes out as all of my friends are his so I had no one to go to.
He has now withdrawn his application,BUT still keeps sending me emails and text messages that he loves me..All the times I have seen him he keeps crying his eyes out and so do I.That did not stop him from sleeping with other girls. I have not had any relations with other men as it is the last thing on my mind.
I am so so hurt,lost and going crazy because all my money went on the defacto fee so I cannot leave Australia and start over with 0..I left EVERYTHING behind to be with this man as he promised to be there and be my support.I know he does not deserve me in any way,but I have googled and googled for days and nights if there is anything else that would help me stay..I have already recieved a letter from the immigration saying if I want to comment or withdraw..
Its an undescribable pain trusting your life and heart in someone elses hands and they just rip your heart out and leave you on the ground.
I do not have a Uni degree or skill in the SOL list..so a skilled visa is not an option..I dont have enough money to pay for school..
..
Please if anyone has been in this situation what have you done??   
Can I somehow get a visa through an apprenticeship..?

Also if anyone knows any phone numbers where I could get free advice?


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## CollegeGirl (Nov 10, 2012)

Kayla - 

Welcome to the board. My heart really goes out to you.  Breakups are hard enough, but when they mean leaving the country you live in it just makes it all a million times worse. 

I wish I had some comfort for you, but I'm afraid I don't. Once your relationship has broken down and your partner has notified immigration (which he obviously has since they've sent you a letter), unless you have a child together there's really no provision for you to stay. 

Have you already used your Working Holiday Visa for Australia? That would at least give you a little more time in Australia. I don't see a way for you to stay permanently, though, from what you've said.  Hopefully one of our agents on here will see this thread and comment as well - maybe there's something I've missed. 

What is it that you do for a job? I *think* you usually have to have a job on the CSOL or SOL (you checked the CSOL, too, right?) to be able to be sponsored for a 457, but I'm not positive about that. Of course, that's not a permanent visa, either.


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## PAPPER AND SALT (Jan 30, 2014)

Very sad story. I think the best thing to do is to reply to the immigration office as time will be running out for you and build your case with his text messages and emails. Also he is human just try to explain things to him and he can call or write back and change things. I think you can also get some of his friends to explain or talk to him. If you can get one or two of his friends who believes what you are saying and prove it they may be of a good help too.


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## kayla32 (Jan 23, 2015)

Hi,thanks for your response..
Yes unfortunately I have used both years of WHV..
Ive done about 5 years of hospitality,but Ive also done a year of hairdressing studies back home so thats why I was hoping if I do a apprenticeship in that maybe theres a way.. It does not count as full qualification here.. 

Also I do not need to stay permanently..just looking for a temporary option to stay and work,to make my money back so I can pick myself up and start over..and make myself happy again.Sigh.


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## kayla32 (Jan 23, 2015)

Papper and salt,
yeah i know,he is human and he is supposed to love me,but he "wants his power".. I was always a little bit hesitant in going ahead with the visa because I was afraid of moments like this..But love makes you do crazy things sometimes..
I have talked to him about it and he feels like I am the one that has to prove to him I still want this..After I have met up with him,havent done anything wrong while he slept with other people and admitted it,called my employer to say im here illegally which I am not! He has hurt me SO much and I still keep talking to him. And I need to prove myself?! 
His friends are behind him because of course everyone will see me as the girl who used him,because of the stories he is telling.. There is a few mutual female friends who know I was pretty much sleeping in my car and they know my side of the story,but not sure how they can help..


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## Engaus (Nov 7, 2013)

There is no visa for unskilled migrants to be on that allows them to work. There is the WHV but you have used both of these.

If you have just had random hospitality jobs and an unfinished hairdressers qualification then I can't see a pathway to skilled migration either.

Only other way would be a student visa but that's an expensive route to take and not a way to make any money back given the work restrictions and money you have to pay for study.

Really sorry this has happened to you. If you can't reconcile, I think I would look at returning home and being closer to my support network than staying in a country where I don't know anyway.

PAPPER AND SALT - there is no case for the OP to build. There has been no physical or mental abuse. So all the texts and letters in the world declaring his love won't make a different unless he agrees to sponsor her again.


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## kayla32 (Jan 23, 2015)

Engaus,
you are probably right,but I guess I am hoping for humanity.. Ive paid 5000 dollars for the Australian government,dont the case officers have any sympathy...? 
Although If I could do a skills assessment somehow I could probably get my hairdressers cert.. Just dont know where to start ..


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## Marianina (Oct 25, 2012)

So sorry to hear about your plight and dilemma, kayla. Reading your message just breaks my heart. I hope you can have the clarity of mind to think straight and evaluate your options.

Have you considered seeking help from your embassy? Might they be able to assist you in some way -- like in the area of financing your trip back home? I know it's a long shot, but I reckon it wouldn't hurt for you to try. 

Good luck and stay strong.


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## Valentine1981 (Sep 13, 2012)

kayla32 said:


> I am hoping for humanity.. Ive paid 5000 dollars for the Australian government,dont the case officers have any sympathy...?  ..


My heart breaks for you reading this post,can't imagine how you are feeling.

Unfortunately the government doesn't care about the $5000 and case officers only make decisions based on the criteria that visa applicants must fulfill and with the breakdown of your relationship,you no longer qualify for a partner visa.

Do you have friends or family who can help you maybe with airfare or the cost of retaining a migration agent to see what your options might be?

Unfortunately Australia is a very attractive country to migrate to and it's very difficult for people without the skills that Australia needs to obtain a visa outside if the family sponsored/partner stream.

I wish you all the best and hope you can find a resolution


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## aussiesteve (Mar 16, 2012)

kayla32 said:


> Engaus,
> you are probably right,but I guess I am hoping for humanity.. Ive paid 5000 dollars for the Australian government,dont the case officers have any sympathy...?
> Although If I could do a skills assessment somehow I could probably get my hairdressers cert.. Just dont know where to start ..


Hi 
I am slightly confused, why did you pay $5000? That fee should have been paid by your sponsor, and if they have withdrawn their sponsorship, they will loose their money.
As far as the fee goes it is used to assess your eligibility not to buy you entry into Australia. Unfortunately as discussed before on this forum decisions are made on facts not on emotion and the sad fact is that your relationship has broken down so you no longer meet the criteria for the grant of this particular visa.
Have you posted in the ask Mark sticky yet ? he maybe able to offer some advice.
As cold comfort if you have no funds, DIBP will return you to your home country at their expense, but the debt would have to be repaid before you could come to Australia again.
Good luck


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## cdninoz (Jul 5, 2012)

Hey, this is little comfort to you, but you may be able to claim support from your former de facto partner. This won't help you stay in Australia, but may make it easier to restart your life back in Europe or wherever the wind takes you next.

Here is some information about de facto relationships form Legal Aid NSW. Depending what state you two live in, may be different, but should be lots of information about it.

Defacto relationships and family law - Legal Aid NSW



kayla32 said:


> Hey everyone,
> I did not know where to seek help as I cannot afford a migration agent at this point so I thought I will post here,maybe someone has been in this situation although I hope not as I do not wish it upon anyone..
> 
> Anyway, my partner and I only recently applied for a de facto ( october 2014 ) after being together for over 2 years and in November I took on some volunteer work 5 hrs away from where we lived,he was fine with it and I planned to come back before christmas.
> ...


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## H.Protagonist (Apr 20, 2014)

I'm so sorry to hear that, Kayla. He sounds awful to do such a thing. I don't have any real advice, I'm afraid, except maybe ping Mark or another agent as CollegeGirl mentioned. 



aussiesteve said:


> Hi
> I am slightly confused, why did you pay $5000? That fee should have been paid by your sponsor, and if they have withdrawn their sponsorship, they will loose their money.
> As far as the fee goes it is used to assess your eligibility not to buy you entry into Australia. Unfortunately as discussed before on this forum decisions are made on facts not on emotion and the sad fact is that your relationship has broken down so you no longer meet the criteria for the grant of this particular visa.
> Have you posted in the ask Mark sticky yet ? he maybe able to offer some advice.
> ...


I don't think the fee has to be paid by the sponsor (I paid mine, after all). Unfortunately, I don't think she has any recourse to get that money back.


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## Maggie-May24 (Jul 24, 2011)

aussiesteve said:


> I am slightly confused, why did you pay $5000? That fee should have been paid by your sponsor, and if they have withdrawn their sponsorship, they will loose their money.


There's no requirement for partner visa application fees to be paid by the sponsor. It's often paid jointly by the couple, but as often can be paid by either the sponsor or the applicant.

DIBP has regulations and your situation unfortunately will not qualify you for a partner visa. Given his behaviour (sleeping with other women, calling your employer and lying to say that you are working illegally), I wouldn't for a moment consider reconciliation with him.

If you have qualifications and experience in an occupation eligible for skilled migration that may be an option. Otherwise you will need to find the funds to leave the country before your visa expires or is cancelled.


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## kayla32 (Jan 23, 2015)

Aussiesteve,
Yeah,well thats why he it was probably easier for him to notify them as I paid most of the money. I am not trying to buy myself to this country that is a very rude thing to say,all I have done is love this stupid man who broke my heart and you saying that just makes me very angry.
I am not looking for a plane ticket home,there is nothing there for me, I came here for a better life! 
As I can see from here no one has actually been in my situation so I cannot expect you to understand..


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## kayla32 (Jan 23, 2015)

cdninoz said:


> Hey, this is little comfort to you, but you may be able to claim support from your former de facto partner. This won't help you stay in Australia, but may make it easier to restart your life back in Europe or wherever the wind takes you next.
> 
> Here is some information about de facto relationships form Legal Aid NSW. Depending what state you two live in, may be different, but should be lots of information about it.
> 
> Defacto relationships and family law - Legal Aid NSW


Thanks,but we do not own any property together so wouldnt it cost me more to chase after just the visa fee with all the costs of courts? Part of me wants to take everything he has just for him to feel as hurt as I am,but then I breathe in and say I am better than him and will not lower myself to that level..


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## Valentine1981 (Sep 13, 2012)

kayla32 said:


> I am not trying to buy myself to this country that is a very rude thing to say


I know you are very upset right now but when you post things online,they can be interpreted in a number of different ways. The wording of your post about how you'd paid the $5000 to the government and don't case officers have any sympathy does read as if you feel you are owed something in return for paying all that money.

While none of us here have been in your situation we are only trying to offer you solutions to the horrible circumstances you have found yourself in.

While you may not be interested in a plane ticket home - unless you can pay for a student visa or your skills are sufficient to apply for an independent skilled visa application,going home MAY be the only choice you have left. Is it fair? absolutely not...but it may be your only realistic choice.


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## kayla32 (Jan 23, 2015)

Also I forgot to ask in the case of this visa being cancelled,will I have problems applying for another visa in the future if I ever wanted to come back?


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## Valentine1981 (Sep 13, 2012)

kayla32 said:


> Also I forgot to ask in the case of this visa being cancelled,will I have problems applying for another visa in the future if I ever wanted to come back?


Maybe post this one in the Ask Mark thread? Because the application has been withdrawn without the visa being granted,it doesn't count as a cancellation.

I am assuming you are currently on a BVA? In the letter from immigration have they given you a deadline to take action regarding the withdrawal? I believe if you remain in Australia beyond the deadline - then you may be subjected to an exclusion period should you want to come back. If you leave in the timeframe you have been given,i don't think there will be a problem


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## kayla32 (Jan 23, 2015)

Valentine1981 said:


> Maybe post this one in the Ask Mark thread? Because the application has been withdrawn without the visa being granted,it doesn't count as a cancellation.
> 
> I am assuming you are currently on a BVA? In the letter from immigration have they given you a deadline to take action regarding the withdrawal? I believe if you remain in Australia beyond the deadline - then you may be subjected to an exclusion period should you want to come back. If you leave in the timeframe you have been given,i don't think there will be a problem


Sorry I just joined the site,is he an agent?
And yes I am on a bridging,was given 28 days to reply with evidence.


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## Valentine1981 (Sep 13, 2012)

http://www.australiaforum.com/visas-immigration/49513-ask-mark.html

Mark is a very well respected agent who frequently posts on this board and created a thread where people can ask him questions  just follow this link and you can submit your query there


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## Engaus (Nov 7, 2013)

You visa isn't being cancelled. It is being withdrawn so it won't stop you from applying for future applications.

I honestly don't see a pathway to staying for you at the moment given you are not skilled - unless you have the money for a student visa - but even then you might have issues with the genuine entry criteria given they will see you tried to apply for a partner visa very recently. 

If your looking for in-depth advise on what further visa you might be eligable for you will need to pay a few hundred dollars for a consultation with a MARA agent - Mark can only say so much on a free forum.

Best of luck to you


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## Duszek (Mar 21, 2014)

I understand why you are upset and why it hurts so much. I hope you won't take my post offensive or anything like that.. I just want to understand better.

You are saying that you left everything behind and you have nothing to come back to in your home country. But when you moved to Australia did you have anything there? People that come to Oz on partner visas from different countries usually have nothing there besides our loved ones. I understand that Australia seems like the best place in the world to settle down but believe me you can have a good life and earn money everywhere...

There is a lot of places in Europe that you can earn heaps of money in hospitality or hairdressing too. As I see you are Swedish so you are a member of EU. You could easily go to the UK and there earn enough money and have a good life without begging your "crazy" ex-bf for mercy. 

Surely there has to be someone in the world that cares about you and will help you with your new start somewhere else...

Stay strong


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## suchislife22000 (Apr 16, 2014)

kayla32 said:


> Hey everyone,
> I did not know where to seek help as I cannot afford a migration agent at this point so I thought I will post here,maybe someone has been in this situation although I hope not as I do not wish it upon anyone..
> 
> Anyway, my partner and I only recently applied for a de facto ( october 2014 ) after being together for over 2 years and in November I took on some volunteer work 5 hrs away from where we lived,he was fine with it and I planned to come back before christmas.
> ...


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## Engaus (Nov 7, 2013)

suchislife22000 said:


> Have you consider going thorough "Family violence provision"? see Partner Migration booklet page 50.


Seriously? There has been no domestic violence in this situation. You can't just go accusing people of something like that either.

Yes he has been an arse - but that doesn't mean someone can accuse him of being abusive!


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## aussiesteve (Mar 16, 2012)

suchislife22000 said:


> Have you consider going thorough "Family violence provision"? see Partner Migration booklet page 50.


That is tantamount to fraud, and the penalties for that are severe.


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## Mish (Jan 13, 2013)

suchislife22000 said:


> Have you consider going thorough "Family violence provision"? see Partner Migration booklet page 50.


Seriously!! That is one of the reasons why partner visa's are taking longer to process now .... because of false domestic abuse claims.

The OP has made no mention of any domestic abuse.


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## EDT (Aug 22, 2014)

suchislife22000 said:


> Have you consider going thorough "Family violence provision"? see Partner Migration booklet page 50.


Na wahhhhh Nigerian. How can you give somebody such advice ? No wonder partner's visa are getting so hard for genuine couples . I hope you did not use fraud to get inside Australia coz just by reading your advice I second question you now. Wonder should never end


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## Runa (Dec 21, 2014)

EDT said:


> Na wahhhhh Nigerian. How can you give somebody such advice ? No wonder partner's visa are getting so hard for genuine couples . I hope you did not use fraud to get inside Australia coz just by reading your advice I second question you now. Wonder should never end


Very well said mate!! Lol!!


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## Maggie-May24 (Jul 24, 2011)

suchislife22000 said:


> Have you consider going thorough "Family violence provision"? see Partner Migration booklet page 50.


There was no family violence, and suddenly fabricating it would be fraud and undoubtedly would create difficulties for the OP if she wants to apply for any visa in the future.


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## kayla32 (Jan 23, 2015)

Duszek said:


> I understand why you are upset and why it hurts so much. I hope you won't take my post offensive or anything like that.. I just want to understand better.
> 
> You are saying that you left everything behind and you have nothing to come back to in your home country. But when you moved to Australia did you have anything there? People that come to Oz on partner visas from different countries usually have nothing there besides our loved ones. I understand that Australia seems like the best place in the world to settle down but believe me you can have a good life and earn money everywhere...
> 
> ...


Yes,like I said I had him here and thats why I chose to stay here,thats all I needed..
And I have nothing to go back to as in no job,no home ( yes can stay with parents but still ) .. the weather is miserable.
I guess there is a lesson to learn here for me,dont cross oceans for someone who wouldnt even jump a puddle for you..


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## kayla32 (Jan 23, 2015)

suchislife22000 said:


> Have you consider going thorough "Family violence provision"? see Partner Migration booklet page 50.


Calm down everyone, I would not do that. Ive had pretty bad mental abuse from him,he has thrown my stuff on the street a few times,called me an idiot and other abusive words that are not even suitable to write here,but ive got no effort or energy to build anything on that. 
I just want to find a way.. ANY way to stay without having him in my life anymore.
But seems impossible  
Sigh.


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## waiting_is_happiness (Oct 3, 2013)

If love was dead and you and your idiot guy no longer care to each other anymore, why trying to stay here to suffer? Life in Sweden would be a better choice compare to Aussie, now or in the next thousand years.


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## Engaus (Nov 7, 2013)

Go home, rebuild your life and when you are in a better financial position make the move to Australia. Not everyone can live in Australia permanently and it often requires people re studying to make the move.

Nothing wrong with living with your parents - i'm about to do that in a few months time


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## kayla32 (Jan 23, 2015)

waiting_is_happiness said:


> If love was dead and you and your idiot guy no longer care to each other anymore, why trying to stay here to suffer? Life in Sweden would be a better choice compare to Aussie, now or in the next thousand years.


Its only suffer if I stay with him.There is opportunities for a good life here..  ( without the -30 degrees )


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## Duszek (Mar 21, 2014)

There is no -30 in Spain for example too  australia is not the only one place in the world with good weather. But i think i finally see your point. You just care about money and good weather you have in Oz. Sad people would choose living away from parents, family just for that..


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## syd (May 13, 2014)

People's choices and circumstances are all different, so there's no point judging someone for the choices they make. I'm not sure why the direction of this thread is turning against the OP. 

She's done nothing wrong, but ask for advice like we all do here.

Some people have a great supportive family and others don't. Your rationale for leaving your family for love does not supersede somebody else rationale to leave for better opportunities. sigh

OP, I'm sorry his happened to you and I know you must be devastated. If I were in your shoes I'd be utterly shattered and depressed, because I am choosing to give up a good job in the US to be with my fiancé, plus all the emotional investment and waste of childbearing years. This is something I have thought about, but have decided to trust in the strength of our relationship and our love. 

I suggest you consult with a migration agent and decide what your options are for future migration, then pave a way forward. When you decide to migrate for love, you also fall in love with the country because it is where you envision your future, so I understand your hesitance to leave Australia.


((Hugs)) You will be ok eventually.


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## CollegeGirl (Nov 10, 2012)

Agree with syd! Let's not attack the OP, please - she has done NOTHING wrong. There's nothing wrong with wanting to find a legal way to stay in a country that has become your home! I really feel for her.


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## CCMS (Oct 10, 2013)

Engaus said:


> Seriously? There has been no domestic violence in this situation. You can't just go accusing people of something like that either.
> 
> Yes he has been an arse - but that doesn't mean someone can accuse him of being abusive!


I am not suggesting for one moment that any "family violence" (as it is called officially nowadays) has taken place in this case and I definitely do not want to encourage anyone to make false or potentially fraudulent claims.

By the same token I would not want to discourage anyone from exercising their rights if some form of "family violence" has indeed occurred.

The definition of "family violence" is very broad and is not limited to physical harm, but may also include other forms of abuse such as psychological and/or financial abuse.

https://www.immi.gov.au/media/fact-sheets/38domestic.htm


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## Engaus (Nov 7, 2013)

Thanks Nick. But I am one of the many women who you don't need to explain "family violence" to.

I have seen more than a handful of people just this week using this as a way to stay in Australia, when NO violence has been committed. It is the most heartbreaking thing to read on a forum

But thanks.


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## CCMS (Oct 10, 2013)

Hi Engaus, I have seen a few cases where female partners callously exploited this avenue. They appeared to be well-briefed and it seemed obvious that it was pre-meditated. Their sponsors were devastated, both emotionally and financially. I have also seen the opposite side of the coin and get regular inquiries from women who are being treated very badly by their partners and live under constant threat of getting their sponsorship cancelled. This in itself could be construed as mental cruelty and therefore be classed as family violence. Other examples are denying a partner to contact friends or family or controlling their finances. I even get regularly contacted by women who have left abusive partners after being granted PR and who are absolutely terrified that they will be deported, because that's what their ex has told them. It's a complex and very real issue, which unfortunately is being exploited by some callous individuals to the detriment of the genuine cases.

Ultimately I rather see a few fraudulent cases slip through than a genuine one being refused.


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## daveenajohns (Oct 11, 2014)

I agree with Nick , there are so many different scenarios and situations when it comesto Domestic violence. It is not very wiseful for anyone to judge somebody's entire situation by reading few posts same as we cant judge people who living apart in different countries after the grant of their provisional visa.


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## kayla32 (Jan 23, 2015)

Duszek said:


> There is no -30 in Spain for example too  australia is not the only one place in the world with good weather. But i think i finally see your point. You just care about money and good weather you have in Oz. Sad people would choose living away from parents, family just for that..


First of all Spain has the lowest unemployment rate so going there and trying to start over? If you want to make witty comments I suggest you research about the world a bit. I would appreciate if you do not reply to this thread anymore I dont need this kind of negativity on top of everything,cheers!


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## kayla32 (Jan 23, 2015)

syd said:


> People's choices and circumstances are all different, so there's no point judging someone for the choices they make. I'm not sure why the direction of this thread is turning against the OP.
> 
> She's done nothing wrong, but ask for advice like we all do here.
> 
> ...


Thank you..it is very devastating all I was trying to do is see if someone has been in this situation..
Love can be the best or the worst thing!
Thanks for your kind words.


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