# Only in Australia - a bit of humour



## mike (Jun 13, 2007)

Being Australian 
is about driving in a German car 
to an Irish pub 
for A Belgian beer, 
then on the way home, grabbing an Indian curry 
or A Turkish kebab, 
to sit on Swedish furniture and 
watch American shows 
on a Japanese TV. 
Oh and..... 
Only in Australia ... 
can a pizza get to your house faster 
than an ambulance.

Only in Australia ... 
do supermarkets make 
sick people walk all the way 
to the back of the shop 
to get their prescriptions 
while healthy people 
can buy cigarettes at the front.

Only in Australia ... 
do people order double cheeseburgers, 
large fries and 
a DIET coke. 

Only in Australia ... 
do banks leave both doors wide open 
and chain the pens to the counters. 

Only in Australia ... 
do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars 
in the driveway and 
lock our junk and cheap lawn mower 
in the garage.

NOT TO MENTION....

3 Aussies die each year 
testing if a 9v battery works on their tongue.

58 Aussies are injured each year 
by using sharp knives instead of screwdrivers.

31 Aussies have died since 1996 
by watering their Christmas tree 
while the fairy lights were plugged in.

8 Aussies had serious burns in 2000 
trying on a new jumper 
with a lit cigarette in their mouth.

A massive 543 Aussies 
were admitted to Emergency 
in the last two years 
after opening bottles of beer with their teeth.

and finally.........

In 2000 eight Aussies cracked their skull 
whilst throwing up into the toilet.


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## Wanderer (Jun 16, 2007)

That must be doing the rounds pretty quick Mike for got it about the same time you posted - we do not have a mutual acquaintance by name of Bazza by any chance do we?


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## bizonapage (Jan 14, 2009)

Now that's funny.


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## mike (Jun 13, 2007)

No, I don't know any Bazzas on the Internet, but I think I might know who you are talking about, if its the guy from LP.


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## kireineko (May 3, 2009)

Oh...It sounds good. Is this your own compose? Australia is worth honoring.


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## bouba (Mar 25, 2009)

Australians all let us rejoice
For we are young and free
We've golden soil and wealth for toil,
Our home is girt by sea:
Our land abounds in nature's gifts
Of beauty rich and rare,
In history's page let every stage
Advance Australia fair,
In joyful strains then let us sing
Advance Australia fair.

Beneath our radiant Southern Cross,
We'll toil with hearts and hands,
To make this Commonwealth of ours
Renowned of all the lands,
For those who've come across the seas
We've boundless plains to share,
With courage let us all combine
To advance Australia fair.
In joyful strains then let us sing,
Advance Australia fair.

enjoy signing it..

I will be proud to be australian if I was really an australian ..


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## savepurs (May 26, 2009)

Australia is a sweet dream to many people including me, especially the beautiful Sydney.
what a pitty, it contain nothing of my motherland...


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